PhD in Listening

The other day I asked one of my co-workers, Janelle, if she agreed that much like the over-cliched role that a bartender plays, if she ever felt like people just came in to vent to us or for some unconventional therapy?

To which Janelle shared with the following....

"You know, the other day a lady came in here to get a coffee and she looked just a mess. She was stressed out and in a rush and seemed like she was just having an all-around bad day. So I asked her how she was doing [part of the job] and she didn't hold back. She told me how she had been to her son's school three times already today because it was spirit week and there were some 'wardrobe malfunctions', and then he forgot his lunch at home, and how she had been running late for work and running basically all over the city and she came in to get a coffee because she needed one - even though she really didn't have time for it."

Janelle told me how she prepared this customers order and completed the transaction in about a minute or so. But, even though this lady was in such a rush, she proceeded to stand there and let it all out to Janelle for about ten minutes or so. She shared the story of her bad day to a complete stranger. Just some young girl that was getting her coffee.

So to answer my question Janelle said: "Yes. I think a lot of the time people don't even want coffee they just come here because they need someone to talk to or talk at or just to get something of their chest."


 Do you ever find yourself sharing more than what your barista expected to hear as an answer to the question: "how are you today?"

What makes people so comfortable with sharing (sometimes) extremely personal information with what is essentially a stranger? I understand the role that a bartender sometimes fills for patrons is influenced by liquid courage or the fact that the one doing the sharing knows they may never see that bartender ever agin in their lives. In our situation, we see many of these people every day.

Is it our pretty faces (I like to think so)? Or our harmless exterior that makes you so vulnerable and ready to share? Or is it a trust we have built up. If you had never seen me before would you still tell me about the flaws in the school system you see everyday because of your job? Or that your brother is in prison for murder? Or does it really matter.

Maybe you step up to my counter at the precise moment that your day has gone to sh!t and without even realizing it you already have an answer prepared.

So, how are YOU today?